St. Patrick's Day 2010
We don't really celebrate holidays much. St Patrick's Day is no exception. However, every year, when this day rolls around, my mind returns to 2005, the year of the bear. David had been in the hospital over three weeks. He'd had his heart surgery and was recovering well. He just wasn't eating and no one knew why. And so, we stayed. And he was tube fed. And we tried all sorts of things-different nipples, therapy, different formulas, reflux meds, force feeding, using a cup not a bottle, and more that I'm sure I've forgotten or blocked out. I made him a bear that day. It was sort of a Build-a-Bear type thing and they were donated to the hospital for all the kids there that day. Since he was hooked up to all sorts of monitors, we couldn't join the other kids downstairs (not that he cared-he was only 2 months old) and I had to watch it all happen over the tv and follow along step by step the stuffing of the bear and then putting on his tiny shirt with the shamrock on it. I remember sitting there thinking, would we ever find an answer? Would he ever eat on his own? We were finally discharged a few days later, but without any answers.
It's been five years now. We made it over the eating hump. I spent years on therapy for his eating. I counted calories in every single bite he took. I have a journal full of notes that I brought every month to his check up with the therapist. They always laughed and told me that no one ever came with such detailed notes (but they loved it-they could see anywhere I could improve, anywhere I might have slipped). Clearly no one was as determined as me to get him off that feeding tube.
This isn't 100% behind us yet. He has dropped pretty dramatically on the growth charts since he had his g-tube removed. He still fights us on the food front. There are foods that make him gag, foods he just won't eat period and foods that he'll eat one day and not the next. It's frustrating and discouraging, but at least he's eating. We go tomorrow for his yearly cardio check-up. I don't suspect there is anything wrong, but you just never know. It will be a relief to hear that "all clear" and wait for the next appoint a year from tomorrow. Next year, when St Patrick's Day rolls around again and once more I think about the year of the bear.
It's been five years now. We made it over the eating hump. I spent years on therapy for his eating. I counted calories in every single bite he took. I have a journal full of notes that I brought every month to his check up with the therapist. They always laughed and told me that no one ever came with such detailed notes (but they loved it-they could see anywhere I could improve, anywhere I might have slipped). Clearly no one was as determined as me to get him off that feeding tube.
This isn't 100% behind us yet. He has dropped pretty dramatically on the growth charts since he had his g-tube removed. He still fights us on the food front. There are foods that make him gag, foods he just won't eat period and foods that he'll eat one day and not the next. It's frustrating and discouraging, but at least he's eating. We go tomorrow for his yearly cardio check-up. I don't suspect there is anything wrong, but you just never know. It will be a relief to hear that "all clear" and wait for the next appoint a year from tomorrow. Next year, when St Patrick's Day rolls around again and once more I think about the year of the bear.
Comments
Much love,
c