Respites, Oh My.

Today begins our 3rd respite in as many weeks. Just call me a sucker. Chris is sure they have a sucker speed dial just for me at Social Services.

What is respite, you ask? Well, let me enlighten you. And if you already know, hush and just skip to the next paragraph. Respite is a place to send your foster kids when you have an emergency and you just can't take the kids with you, or bio-mom won't allow you to take them with you. Summer is a busy time for the respite workers as many families are traveling and vacationing. But, we've also found that some families will somewhat abuse the respite care, putting their kids in it quite often or for less than reasonable reasons. Social services will put up with this, to a certain degree, for a while, before reminding you that your primary job as a foster parent is to actually parent these children while in your care. Yes, this is hard work, but when you think about it from the child's point of view-they've been yanked from their parent(s) and put in a home in which they do not know the family. Now, they are getting comfy and that family decides to travel and/or they need a break from taking care of the child. So, the child is sent to another home, of which they do not know the family, to stay for....how long? They don't know. Time has no meaning when you're 1 or 2. It's no wonder bedtime is hard and they cry. Or they just cry all the time no matter what you do (well, unless you hold them. Constantly).

Our first respite began with a solemn child who rarely smiled and cried often. She did not like Chris and would fuss whenever he tried to help or came near her. And so, for every waking hour she was here, I held her or she cried. At first, I was thinking having to take her to daycare would be a real drag. I came to eagerly anticipate her hours at daycare since they gave me a break from her constant need for contact. I've never had a child quite that clingy. Even Super Dave didn't/doesn't come close. (And I sometimes think he just might be part Goa'uld) I breathed a heavy sigh of relief the last morning we had her and Chris drove off to take her to daycare.

No sooner had she left, then I got a call from my old worker, who now resides in placements. She cheerfully asked me what I might be doing over the July 4th weekend. heh...heh...heh. She had a last minute respite she was hoping we might be available to take. Now, I'm not too sure, to this day, why exactly they needed respite, but that's neither here nor there. I agreed and I found myself with a loud, boisterous 3 yr old girl who knew no boundaries and her clingy, sobbing 1 year old brother. Fortunately for me, Chris was able to take on crabby baby brother who became quite delightful under his care. As I age (stop laughing-I am aging) I find myself less and less tolerant of hour after hour whining. And, you can't fault the kid (see paragraph above about shuffling homes). But, it's clear that I'm not cut out for this long-term. These kids were with us from Friday until Tuesday morning when Chris drove them to their daycare and I breathed another sigh of relief. But not as big. The kids really weren't too bad and Chris really, really had fun with the little guy. We haven't had one that age (20months) since our Davie was little.

But, we're not done yet! Tuesday was a whirl of swimming lessons, cleaning up the house, washing like crazy and getting ready for today and our 3rd and final respite. We did respite for these two back in February, just before the triplets came. The little boy was sick and constantly fussy. This time around, though, he is much, much improved. He went through quite a time with his illness (it was a mystery for a long time until a chance scan revealed an abscess behind his eye. Once it was treated, he was like a new kid. So, he is back, along with his 2 year old sister. 2 seems to be the magical age with Ruthie and she has spent the afternoon entertaining Little Miss with coloring, drawing, teaching her to write her name, playing ponies and reading to her. These two will be with us until Sunday evening and then I am finished. This summer has shown me my limitations on this. I have to be strong-I have to say no. (Because this family needs a respite again in September for 10 days, yes 10 days and they'd really like us to do it. But, I'm saying no. No. No.)