The Kind of Day That Makes You Want to Cry

That was my day today. But, before I get to that, let me recap the previous week.

Friday, Chris leaves for his Bike Trip Around Lake Ontario. Saturday was the open house at our meeting. I was up early to get everyone here ready to go. I arrived at our hall at 11:30 and did not leave until 9:30 that night. Sunday was meeting and a mite disastrous. Kids that know how to behave were not and I had to actually remove 2 of them for punishment. We try to get some school work done in the evening in preparation for the girls' going to Grandma and Grandpa's house on Wednesday. We go to bed late. Monday, I spend the day tired and frustrated with the kids. We try to get some school done, but it's not going well. Tuesday we try schooling again and I finally give us and declare a mental health day...er...week. I go about cleaning the house. Cleaning the house always makes me feel better. Whenever I'm in a bad mood or mad, I clean the house. Chris always knows when I'm mad because I get the sudden urge to organize a closet. Well, I organized more than a dozen closets, drawers and cubbies that day. Wednesday was more of the same. The girls had chores to complete before we left for Grandma and Grandpa's house. They took a very long time to get these things accomplished. We left later than I wanted and the day was thrown out of whack (the day was planned around the baby's naps.) We all had dinner together, but then I packed up the boys and headed out and to the hall. We got there about an hour early and that was great. I was in charge of cleaning the hall last week. I spent the time before class working on hall cleaning. We had class and then immediately following it, I got back to cleaning and put in another hour or so cleaning. I went home tired and cranky. But, the boys were whooped and went to bed without much fuss. Thursday was spent in working on classes for our upcoming study weekend. Along with my long suffering cousin, I am putting together classes for the youngin's in our meeting. It's a time consuming process even though we are using ideas and classes already mostly fleshed out. Friday, baby had his visit. The boys and I dropped him off and then we stayed for a bit to watch the men paving the new parking lot at Goodwill. It was pretty neat and worth the time. But, we had things to do and I had a master plan. I was going to get groceries while the girls were away and baby was at his visit. If I can grocery shop with 5 kids, going with 2 should be a breeze! Right!? Wrong. That ended with fits, tears, tantrums and punishments upon punishments. You know, it is so embarrassing to have to walk out of the grocery store with your son stomping, crying and carrying on beside you. An afternoon of rest and we took off to find supplies for crafts for the study weekend. That went ok, though I had to tell the boys about a zillion times to stop talking. They talked nonstop the whole time we were out. Saturday was more working on kids' classes and running of errands as well as packing for Sunday and getting ready to pick up the girls at my parents' house. This morning we rose at 7 and we were out the door-dressed-by 7:30.

It's been a busy, stressed week and not something I'm keen to repeat. Going it alone is not cool. And, there is more to that dynamic, but suffice it to say that it's not been a real great week. All the busyness, loneliness, and frustrations came crashing down during meeting this morning. My parents' meeting is small and they meet in my Grandmother's old house. It suits their needs well. The living room is used for the service and her two bedrooms off the back serve as Sunday School/Nursery rooms. Now, ordinarily this is just fine. Today the girls sat with my dad in the main room and I kept the 3 boys with me in the nursery. Shortly after meeting started, Baby began to cry. And cry. And cry. And cry. Nothing I did would comfort him. I was pretty sure he was tired, but he would not give it up and sleep. He was just plain old unhappy. I tried to rock him, pat him, lay him on the floor, nothing was working. And, to make matters worse, I was trapped in the nursery. To exit the building, I would have to carry a screaming, crying baby through the the former living room, now main service area. However, the walls are also paper thin and I knew that his incessant crying was disturbing to everyone. I started to cry. I couldn't help it. I was beyond frustrated with everything and just plain old tired. So, there we were, baby and I, crying. What a ridiculous pair we made, crying together.

Then, I wondered-just how far from the ground is the window? I took a quick peak and was pretty sure I could slip in and out of the window so long as I could get the screen out. I enlisted the help of the boys to hold the baby while I climbed out of the window. They handed him to me and I walked baby over to my parents' house. You see, my mom is laid up, recovering from knee surgery and she was over at the house (next door) waiting for us to be done with meeting. I went up, put baby in the crib for the nap, and went back to the hall where I climbed back in the window, put the screen back in and shut the window. My only regret is that I waited so long to go out the window and put that cranky baby in for his nap.

Chris returns tomorrow. Probably not until late, though, but at least my time flying solo is nearly at an end. One more day to get through. And hopefully no more duet crying with baby.